Writing Tip: Use Declarative Sentences

speech bubble: I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse

This declarative sentence was spoken by Don Corleone (played by Marlon Brando) in the movie The Godfather (1972).

We don’t always make declarative statements. It is not uncommon for women and other minority groups to add qualifiers to their statements. Such as ‘Parents need to stop organising every minute of their children’s spare time, don’t you think?’ ‘I loved that movie, didn’t you?’ In our sentence structure we look for reinforcement for our thoughts and opinions. We don’t always make declarative statements such as:  ‘This is wonderful.’ ‘This is a catastrophe.’ We look for re-enforcement from others.

Another thing we do without realising it, is use indefinite modifiers in our speech:  perhaps, maybe, somehow. ‘Maybe I’ll take a trip somewhere.’ As if the speaker has no power to make a decision. ‘Perhaps it will change.’ Again, not a clear declarative sentence like, ‘Yes, nothing stays the same.’

It is important for us as writers to express ourselves in clear assertive sentences. ‘This is excellent.’ ‘It was a red dress.’ Not ‘The thing is, I know it sounds a bit vague, but I think maybe it was a red dress.’ Speaking in declarative sentences is a good rehearsal for trusting your own ideas, in standing up for yourself, for speaking out your truth.

When I write poetry I read through early drafts with a critical eye, taking out indefinite words and modifiers. I attempt to distill each moment to its essence by peeling off the layers until the heart of the poem is exposed. We need to take risks as writers and go deep within ourselves to find our unique voices and express ourselves with clarity.

Even if you are not 100% sure about your own opinions and thoughts write as if you are sure.  Dig deep. Be clear. Don’t be vague on the page. If you keep practicing this, you will eventually reveal your own deep knowing.

What about you? Have you noticed this tendency to qualify in your conversations with others, or in your creative writing, or in your blog posts?

My Poem, Electioneering on the Mall

Have a read of my poem, ‘Electioneering on the Mall’ first published in Quadrant Magazine. ‘Electioneering on the Mall’ is one of the pieces in my recently released second poetry collection, ‘Flat White, One Sugar‘ (Ginninderra Press}.

I hope you enjoy it.

Electioneering On the Mall:

Actually, I know which party

I will not be voting for.

I am a true blue Australian

hammered by our land of droughts

and flooding rains.

When it’s election

broadcast blackout time

I breathe a sigh of relief.

What? Please move so I can get by.

Yes, I know about early voting.

No, you won’t get me to

swing a different way.

Copyright 2024 Libby Sommer

Why Do We Write?

‘Samuel Beckett, answering a hopeless question from a Paris newspaper – “Why do you write?” – said it was all he was good for: “Bon qu’a ca.” Georges Bernanos said that writing was like rowing a boat out to sea: The shoreline disappears, it is too late to turn back, and the rower becomes a galley slave. When Colette was seventy-five and crippled with arthritis she said that now, at last, she could write anything she wanted without having to count on what it would bring in. Marguerite Yourcenar said that if she had inherited the estate left by her mother and then gambled away by her father, she might never have written another word. Jean-Paul Sartre said that writing is an end in itself. (I was twenty-two and working on a newspaper in Montreal when I interviewed him. I had not asked him the why of the matter but the what.) The Polish poet Aleksander Wat told me that it was like the story of the camel and the Bedouin; in the end, the camel takes over. So that was the writing life: an insistent camel.’ – extract from the Preface of The Selected Stories of Mavis Gallant.

My Poem, “A Refuge”

Have a read of my poem, “A Refuge” written during the pandemic and first published in Quadrant Magazine. “A Refuge” is one of the poems in my recently released second collection titled “Flat White, One Sugar” (Ginninderra Press).

A Refuge:

Do you know, St Honoré Bakery,

your large black & white floor tiles

show the exact space for Social Distancing?

Your blackboard menu out front

flags passage to the shopping centre.

Surely sophisticated French indulgences

upstage all else inside,

your gateaux worthy of any Parisian patisserie:

flaky puff pastry, velvety cream,

bite-sized choux balls.

But where are you on Sunday mornings, St Honoré,

when the early cyclists ride past?

Your door is closed, your ovens unlit.

Here come gumboots & wet umbrellas

as we all live through wild weather

 – back-to-back La Niñas –

and teachers from across the road arrive

in shoes with stiletto heels.

Don’t we all need a dry haven

from unrelenting winter storms?

East of the city, weather-eroded beaches

promise summer sunshine

for our light-deprived eyes.

As the ocean comes up to the land,

we hope these beaches don’t disappear.

There’s blue sky to wish for

in a gap in the clouds.

St Honoré, patron saint of bakers

& pastry cooks, I think I’m addicted to you.

I’m wondering, will your baking give

hope & warmth today?

Copyright 2024 Libby Sommer